A Secret
by denytheworld
Summary: Hidan and Temari meet in a bar. It doesn't go so well.


There was no accounting for taste, she supposed. Cool teal eyes moved around the dimly lit bar and then back again to the man before her. She barely held back a sigh. This was the _last _time she let Ino drag her out to meet another one of her rejected beaus. They had _both _dated and broke up with her teammate and that was the sole reason why Ino decided that they were friends. To this day, the Sand kunoichi had no idea how that made _any sense._ Since when did sleeping with the same guy bond two women? Especially women like them? Still, she had learned not to question Ino and her _ways_ - as stated by Shikamaru. It was safer.

Still, despite her best efforts, she hadn't been able to shake off her adamant 'best friend' just yet. And short of killing her (and causing some trouble between their villages) she doubted she'd ever be free. After a while, she had even gotten used to Ino's constant badgering (through letters or in person) and even TenTen (her only Konoha acquaintance aside from Nara) had not escaped the blonde menace's notice. "She locked me in a _closet_, Temari! A _closet!_" TenTen had all but shouted at her during her last visit. Granted, she had been locked in with Hyuuga Neji so she hadn't truly been that angry. And since it was during that particular fiasco where TenTen and Neji officially became an _item_, Ino had every right to be smug. And then... she set her matchmaking eyes onto her. And that was how she found herself _here. _While the man was decent in appearance and personality, he simply bored the fuck out of her. He was a civilian, which probably explains her overwhelming boredom.

Pasting on a polite yet vaguely disinterested look on her face, Temari allowed herself the luxury of dismembering the platinum blonde in her mind. Sure, the man - whatever his name was - was talking, probably about his dull 9-to-5 job and was desperately trying to keep the conversation going. He had been the one talking throughout the evening since she didn't feel like cooperating, even out of pity. Yes, she'll burn Ino's hair first and then flay her as she chokes on the fumes. Just the thought of the other blonde's terrified squeals brought a pleased smirk on her face.

The look on her face must have been more bloodthirsty than she had wanted since her date froze - his mouth still open. _Shit_. If Ino finds out that she'd ruined another date, her ears would be ringing for days. "Excuse me," Temari stood up and headed to the washroom without waiting for a reply. She needed to regroup, find some energy to feign interest and get through the rest of this awful night. There was no way she was getting any tonight. Civilians were much too soft to bed - especially this one.

She hadn't even touched the grainy surface of the door when she was pulled back and pressed against the wall. The back of her head ached from the impact and she was forced to blink hard to clear her vision. It was the civilian. His average, nondescript features were pulled into a frown. Temari glowered back. Her unspoken, _just what do you think you're doing?_ hung between them. The look in her eyes promised dismemberment if he didn't back the _fuck _down, but if anything, he leaned closer. Eager, was he?

As the Kazekage's sister and a jounin with one of the most bloodthirsty reputations in the Five Nations, she was not used to having her authority challenged - but this civilian did so without a twitch. That was odd, Temari noted, shifting slightly to balance her weight. The civilian had been rather meek and dull back in the bar. Just what happened in the span of a few minutes that caused such a personality change. She opened her mouth, but before she could ask, he spoke.

Gone was the mild and deferential tone in his voice. It was like he was possessed by another person! For a split-second, she suspected Ino, but dismissed the notion just as quickly. "Damn it, bitch. You can't just walk away from someone mid-conversation, seriously." If she was any less of a kunoichi, she would have gaped at him. _Bitch?_ She jerked back, ready to punch him in the throat but he had both hands gripped around her shoulders and wasn't letting go.

"_Bitch?_" She repeated incredulously. "_Ex**cuse**_ me?"

He gave her an irritated glance and shoved her further against the wall. "Yeah, bitch." He replied with a sardonic lift of his brow. "You're excused. You're fucking interrupting me again! Don't they teach you any manners in that shitty sandpit of a fucking village of yours?"

She could not believe this. He's still speaking. He was getting louder and louder too. "You pieces of shit Sand-nins are so fucking uptight. Seriously, would it kill you people to calm the fuck down, pull that ten foot pole out of your assholes and _try_to have a good time? Fucking cocksuckers, every single one of you." He gave her a disparaging glance before adding, "seriously."

"_What_?" She sounded like an idiot and she knew it. Hell, the look he shot her confirmed what _he _thought of her too. But fuck him. "_What did you just say?"_ This civilian sure had a mouth on him.

He let go of her shoulders now and crossed his arms. A sneer was firmly in place as he repeated, slowly as if speaking to a child. "In my humble opinion, you are a fucking bitch," He paused, reconsidered, and then added for good measure, "bitch."

She really did punch him in the throat.

Later, when all of this was over with, she would regret that one action more than anything else.

Present time, however, it was the best feeling she'd felt all night. All her frustration and her boredom was gone. Like a whip, she had him pressed against the opposing wall, her hand at his throat. The hallway leading to the washrooms was narrow and the bar was moderately busy tonight. It was only a matter of time before _someone_ found them. But that was not a problem for her. Temari narrowed her eyes at the prick in front of her. She would have beaten the living tar out of the jackass by then.

He was tall, taller than what she'd expected. Since she was this close to him, she could see that the dark brown eyes she had dismissed earlier had violet undertones. And he _definitely_ wasn't as scrawny as she'd imagined. Hm. He was still a fuckwit though. He opened his mouth - probably to protest his treatment or insult her again, but she was _not_ going to have any of it. She pulled him forward and shoved him back against the wall in one brisk motion. The sound of his skull crashing into the wooden wall resounded around them in a satisfying _crack! _Temari smirked, baring teeth. "If you say another _word_, I'll kill you."

"Promise?" He all but leered. His eyes practically glowed, more violet than brown. That took her by surprise. In her experience, men preferred to bluff and talk big but when it came straight down to it... they folded. This one, however...

"What kind of civilian _are _you?"

He snorted, "Civilian? You're such a dumb ass, seriously." He shrugged his shoulders - were they always that broad? - and straightened up against the wall. He looked so at ease, as if he had kunoichi pinning him down by the neck every other day. Temari narrowed her eyes at him, if _he_ wasn't her civilian date (and thinking back to just how _colourful_ everything she had just went through was, she didn't doubt it) then where was her civilian? "Stupid, heathen bitch." He grumbled and she could feel the lines of his throat work as he spoke. She tightened her hold in vindictive pleasure.

"Who are you?"

If it was even possible, he looked both excited and irritated with her. "Why should I tell you? Do ya think I'm a fucking idiot?" He scowled and crossed his arms slowly. "And don't get your panties in a knot about that sack of shit date you were with," he all but drawled. "The little pussy ran off. That look you gave him back there had him pissing his pants." He didn't have to tell her outright that he liked it. Somehow, she knew.

She was not deterred in the least. "What do you want?" He's taken quite a bit of effort to corner her like this. She released him and stepped back. The wide (almost carefree) grin on his face dimmed at the sudden loss of contact. Stunning violet eyes clashed with hers in a silent question. He was no civilian and his genjutsu (or whatever he had been using) was slipping. Violet eyes, broad shoulders, tall and - Temari's eyes widened. Old. The dark hair of the civilian was beginning to change colour. Silver hair?

"You fucking deaf whore!" He proclaimed with chagrin, with no heat behind his words. He spread his arms apart and shrugged. "I already told you, seriously." She didn't say anything, suspecting that he wasn't anywhere near finished. She was correct. For a shinobi, he really was talkative...and loud. Kind of like Ino. "The motherfucker emptied out his pockets so I could take his place." He gave her another dry, appraising look - this time, taking great care to do it slowly and mockingly. "Tch. You're no where near scary enough."

It was a low blow and if she had been armed and in a better mood, she would not have resorted to such underhanded - wait, with this crazy nutjob, she might have. Either way, she socked him in the eye and kneed him in the crotch for good measure. A part of her was stung - to be ditched by her date, no matter how dull._And_ to have his replacement insult her like this. Damn it, Ino was going to suffer for this!

Smug and quite pleased with herself, Temari stood with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face as she observed the crumpled heap of a man before her. While she was silent, basking in her glory, he was seething and cussing up a storm. "Fucking _cunt!_"

She paused. Inhaled sharply and then kicked him in his side. She was a firm believer in the phrase: one good turn deserves another. And so, a few more swift, well-delivered kicks followed the first. All the while, he did not stop with his cussing. They were making such a commotion that one of the staff finally ventured over.

"Ah!"

That stopped Temari in her tracks. The pair looked up at the waitress and silence hung between them for a split second before - "FUCKING BITCH! I'LL TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT! Seriously! What the fuck is your problem?"

The girl looked like she was going to faint. This was one messed up abusive relationship in her eyes, but she just couldn't tell which one of them was the victim so she couldn't possibly try to help either. "Um...do either of you need help...?"

"Fuck off, wench."

"There's no problem here."

They answered at the same time and glared. The girl left as fast as her wobbly legs could take her. Temari watched her go with slight amusement. Hopefully, she wouldn't - teal eyes glowered. In her distraction, the man had gotten off of the floor and was now brushing himself off. "Fucking Sand bitch, messed with my hair." He grumbled to himself. "I'll kill her. I'll kill her. Not even worthy though. Seriously, what a bitch."

His hair did give her a shock. As did the rest of him. Her kicking must have broken down whatever meagre concentration he had left since he didn't resemble the civilian even in the slightest. He was much better looking, Temari noted with a note of dismay. When his deviously glinting eyes locked onto her, he merely grinned. "So, where were we?"

This time, she didn't bother masking her disbelief. Was he...flirting? No. "Oh right, I remember!" He shoved her back and was pinning her once more. "I was telling you just how fucking rude you are. Seriously! You don't interrupt, you don't walk away and you _definitely do not kick people when they're down_." He twitched. He wasn't even going to mention her knee to the groin move. Temari smirked. As if he had any right to lecture _her_ about manners anyway. "Fucking tart." He hissed when he intercepted another knee aimed at his groin. "Stop that."

"Leave me the hell alone, you bastard." She hissed. "What the hell do you even want?! Why the hell did you agree to do this?"

"I needed the money."

Temari scowled. He was being honest. "How much did he give you?" She asked levelly, pretending that her leg wasn't still trapped between his. He grinned and told her the amount. "That asshole." She wasn't vain by any standards, but honestly, that price was just too damned low! He grinned in obvious approval.

"I guess so." He agreed amicably. She was tempted to just beat him into unconsciousness with her fan and then leave. But then he hadn't done anything_too _threatening. He did insult her, numerous times at that, but it didn't phase her as much as it should have. "My name's Hidan, by the way."

She felt like the floor just gave out on her. Oh _hell _no. "Shouldn't you be dead?" She blurted out, her wide eyes darted from his face to the her nearest escape route then back to his face. The amusement was easily seen in the twitch of his lips and his eyes.

"Nah, it took me a few years before my body parts regrouped and reformed and no one dies from boredom." He replied easily, as if discussing his death was natural. To him, Temari thought, to Hidan the Immortal, it probably was nothing.


End file.
